Change

Funny how you forget certain things then stumble over them once again.
I've never been brilliant at expressing myself. It's as if the ability was lost to me at an early age. I'd forgotten about my blog, the mere existence of it and that I'd once had a thriving online persona.
Was I really very different from my "real" self? Yes I think I was.
For whatever reason, I could express myself more eloquently online, perhaps because I couldn't see the disapproving looks, or slightly bored expression or some other made up reason my brain would normally find to squeeze my vocal cords into silence.
I don't recognise this online me. She is like a polished version of me. I read previous entries and laugh at my own jokes, as if someone else said them. Marvel at my humour and wonder what happened to that earlier more perfect me.
Have I changed so much? What happened to the fun loving, happy woman who loved life and all it had to throw at them? Perhaps I haven't changed, and it's my own memories playing tricks on me, my past looked at through rose tinted glasses. L.P Haryley once said "the past is a foreign country" and how true that is.
Maybe I will find myself again, become confident, someone to look up to, an inspiration.
Until then........